Why is it harder to get into preschool than college?

I've heard people talk about getting into the right preschool to get into the right private school to get into the right college. I always thought they were nuts; it's preschool where they learn their ABCs, how to stand in line and how to share. Imagine my surprise when I found myself channeling Diane Keaton from Baby Boom learning that I was well behind in the race to install my son in preschool.

I have one child, so while he's two, I'm still a first time mom of a two-year-old. This means I often learn as many new words and new things a week as he does; for example, PMO (parent's morning out) and old-two (a kid with a birthday after August 31 who will be one of the oldest in his class).When it came time to start the preschool application process I was amazed to learn that it begins almost a year before school starts! That's right, you have to tour schools in January, apply in February and pay in May for school that starts in September.

My preschool-induced ulcer began in December when I started flipping through the mother's club preschool directory. Would he be better off in a two-day or three-day program? Should it be a church-based or secular school? Was it play-based or teacher-directed? Did I want a school that required a lot of parent participation? (No on that one, after all, the point of this is for him to be AWAY from me for nine hours a week, not play with me in a new environment.) After about thirty minutes of fevered highlighting and note-taking, my eyes began to roll back in my head and I had to put the book aside. I stuffed it far into my nightstand drawer and tried to forget that time continues to move forward and I would eventually have to deal with this.

In January I started calling schools about touring and applying. I was bummed, but not surprised, to hear that most schools didn't allow kids to accompany their parents on school tours, all of which take place during the day.Since we are going through major separation anxiety, and my husband can't just drop everything to watch him, leaving my little guy behind wasn't an option, so I put off the tours. The application process itself was a pretty mind-boggling experience. One school had an in person application lottery from 10am to 11am on a Wednesday and if you were accepted you had to immediately pay $85 and leave a kidney on loan (okay not really, but more on the fees and requirements later). Others had mail in lotteries, accepted applications starting at a certain time on a certain day and actually wrote the time on them as they came in, or started taking applications in October. Yeah, right, I could handle this...

At the beginning of February I began to panic in earnest.I knew several schools were already out of our reach, so I decided to concentrate on one. We actually got in for a tour (they allowed kids) and felt confident we would make the cut. I only applied to one college and that worked out okay, so I had no reason to think this process would be different. We sent off the applications and fees and hoped for the best. The thing you learn about preschools is they come with insane fees. Each school charges an application fee, some charge to be on the waiting list, then once you get in there are registration fees, supply fees, lunch bunch fees (yep, another new word) and don't forget tuition. We were fifth in line to drop off the application, so I felt pretty good about our chances.

Today was the day. The school was notifying applicants via mail, so the butterflies started when we arrived home after a morning out and I noticed that the flag was down on the mailbox. When I saw the thin envelope in the box my heart sank. Was preschool like college, where thin means bad? With shaking hands and closed eyes I opened the envelope. I finally got up the courage to open my eyes and there, in black and white, it said  "wait list." That's right, we got wait listed for preschool.

I cried and threw a little grown-up tantrum, I couldn't believe it - I seriously did not put this much effort into applying for college! Once I composed myself, I got to work calling all the other schools on our list trying to get our son on their wait lists. Who knows what is going to happen come fall. Hopefully we'll find a spot in a school that fits us, because honestly my son and I both need a break from each other. But if we don't, you'd better believe that I will start this process again in October, so by the time the 2012-2013 school year rolls around we will be ahead of the pack instead of crawling frantically along behind it.